My Grumblings

The third day of Chinese New Year seems like the best day for me since I don’t know when. I have been waiting for this third day to happen (ever since beginning of this year) and it seemed that this day did not disappoint me. Started out with a warm day, I then washed my car then went to pick up Esther. Off we go to an old friend’s place, actually the friend is old though our friendship is not so old, had a whale of a time (for me at least). I guess the relationship I had with others there at the first party was good and it kinda bond even further on the relationship that we have is the one thing that I was looking forward to. At the party, found out that we had a friend who just gave birth to a baby girl (Caitlyn Luiza Lim), a new friend, though only hours old, became a part of our group when we proceed on to visit the two new mom and pop. Yup, friendship like these wished it would last as long as I shall live. A warm, fuzzy kind of feeling is felt when I see a whole group celebrating each other’s presence and a sense of belonging too. Oh how long since I felt it last.

Then moving on to a dinner with more old friends, more food and having a ‘jolly good’ time. A jovial party with pizza and barbeque chicken (all from the nearby Domino’s Pizza) not to mention great cakes. I have to say great cakes because I ain’t a cake fan. I eat them but I don’t sweat over them but this one… wow…. the fruit cake with rum was just the type that hits my taste buds and send me to the moon. I ate five or more slices if I can recall and this does not contribute to my diet program that I am trying to follow and achieve.

Ending the day with a nice group and a nice dinner just made me feel like a young puppy that the master gave a five-star bone to. Having said that, I just wonder will I have a nicer party like this ever with another group? I would say  not very likely …friends are hard to come by when you are older and the older you are, the more you want to keep your friends. Making friends such as these often takes a great amount of time and the older you are the more difficult to find time to reinforce friendship. In school is much easier since most of the time you spend is in school and classes and activities helps bonding. When we work, it’s sometimes tough to find time to share our lives with your colleagues. Anyway, it’s time for me to hit the sack, it is already ‘tomorrow’…the fourth day of Chinese New Year.

Today is the second day of the Chinese New Year celebration, the celebration has 13 more days to go and it seems that I may enjoy this form of coming togetherness event. Long friends that you haven’t heard let alone seen since the last time you’ve met, distant relative that you didn’t know much about but rekindled every year, etc. Each of these group starts with a greeting, a warm shake of hand and looking unsure after that. Too close in relation for small talk but can’t go anywhere else because you haven’t met since a long time and don’t know where to start. Then the converstation begins with a few "how-are-you-doings". Like ‘how is your job’, ‘how’s your new car’, etc. But to say a hello and followed by a ‘how-are-you-doing’ seems like a universal ritual of greeting. I’ve written a stuff about this one so I’ll not elaborate but just my personal feelings about this issue and just wanted to share out.

A shake of a hand and a smile following the "hello" greeting. Doesn’t it seemed odd or suspicious since you shake hands but do you actually, sincerely want to know how is that person doing in his/her life? If you are sincerely wondering how is she/he doing then that’s fine but in my opinion, most people say that without even realizing what each other is saying/doing. So if I were to shake your hand without a slightest intention of wanting to know how are you doing, then I just might as well not do it. If it is to be one, please do it more sincerely. A ‘hello’ followed by a ‘how-are-you-doing" should be sincere and the other person would be able to pcik out the genuine from the fakes. Be sincere about what you do, that’s my bottom line and not just do it for the sake of a ritual.

A goodbye should also be meant like a goodbye and not just a bye. A goodbye is when you wish that person well and wishing to see or hear her/him again. What most people would have is an empty goodbye, pretty much like a ‘how-are-you-doing’ but it is meant for a short parting but don’t know when to meet up again.  A goodbye is also important for a sincere termination of communication but with a hope of meeting up again where the two parties left off. A ‘bye’ as oppose to a ‘goodbye’ is just an informal termination. My point is not to look at the words but the sincerity behind the words. Don’t just use words as a ritual but also mean what you say, especially the first and the last impression of communication.

Ah. The first day of Chinese New Year. I’ve collected enough ang pow to satisfy my selfish desire. I have roughly eight at the moment and probably get about five to ten in the next 14 days. I have no qualms about receiving them just my consciousness is telling me about those people that I took from. (Refering to my previous post). It is better this year, for me at least, to see my extended family visiting and setting a more joyful atmosphere. My nephew and nieces have all grown up now (duh) and now working or furthering their studies in their respective fields. My only regret is that I don’t know my cousins, nephews and nieces. I should keep in touch with them. I should get to know them better. I wish I have better opportunity but I only see them once a year. Funny, I see my friends more than I see my own flesh and blood. Yes, I know it’s normal but should it be like so? It’s like it’s normal to run through a red light but should you do it?

Out of touch, out of mind.

That is what I fear too. I have not been close with my elders…for several reasons of course but I don’t have a reason NOT to be close to my cousins (okay some I do have problems communicating with but not all) but not my newphes and nieces. I got a hold of one of my nieces’s e-mail and now part of my "friends" in friendster.

But this is what new year is all about. A new year, a new opportunity to learn, grow, change and hope. I’ve written about what is hope to a person in my other blog (haha! I won’t tell you what is the link) and with this new year, I hope that I could be closer to those I have not been close to. Keeping in the dark is fine with me if you are an introvert but it is still not good to lose ties with your kin, especially if you can do it then by all means do it.

This year, with this day being anew in my perspective, creates a hope that I hope to nurture it and fulfill it. Yes, it is a good day for me indeed. Happy holidays.

Chai Shen Tao. Here comes God of Prosperity. Yeah, MacDonald also launched Prosperity burger too. Yes, Chinese New Year is here. Red is seen everywhere. The colour of prosperity. Funny thing is I don’t feel properous (except my tummy that tells me that I’m rich in other areas) and I’m wondering, is it just me or I don’t feel the mood of celebration? I’m not saying anything but I just don’t feel like celebrating, however I feel good about the days of work leave though.

Back in the old days (I’m old you see) Chinese New Year was THE celebration that I wait for, year after year. Fire crackers of all types and sizes were found in almost every street corner and waited to be bought and I was the one buying. That time money has some value, more chunks in a note, than now. I usually bought about 100 bucks worth and it was ALOT at that time. By the end of the 15-day celebration, I would have used up about 4 boxes of 144 sticks of Moon Travellers along with other brands and types. I played the red firecrackers so much that I nearly blew my fingers off…several times. Will that deter me? Ha! I laugh at my mother…not in front of her at least. Ah yes, those were the days my friends. Sigh. (I noticed that I sigh alot too).

Ang pow was the second thing that I often look forward too during Chinese New Year. I have no idea that Ang Pow was the primary thing that everyone seek for during the festive season. Now I look at both my parents, it would the last thing I wanted them to do, to part with their money that they have saved for us kids. I’ll never find the heart to ask from them but it is customary to take, sigh, I wish they have a rule saying that no adult above age 21 would be allowed to receive the ang pows. I wish but most people would say, try to get off your parents as much as possible (yup I met these people before) so that you don’t have to pay so much. I can’t. I just don’t have the heart. How I wish I could pay them all in return but with my current pay, I could only pay slightly more than half of what the expenses incur in a month. Damn it! Why life can be so hard on the ones I cared for. Now I got to think of my future too. Another sigh.

Coming back to Chinese New Year, I look around and I see that the whole atmosphere is fading. Commercialism is high but the culture is fading…fast. The actual concept of celebrating is heading towards commercialism and lost its meaning of celebration of a New Year. Hope, family reunited, clearing of debts (a Chinese thingy - by new year, all debts should be cleared before the new year), etc. These and more have lost its meaning. Tradition is good but when the meaning is lost or no recognized then tradition would be lost, faded into history books.

Hmm….today is the New Year’s Eve and a family gathering is often done and eat together. I looked at my setting in my own household, it is fading too. Just a few of us but tradition is tradition. Anyway, I got too much to say but I can’t…my dinner is ready and my father beckons me to the table. Happy Chinese New year readers. Happy Chinese New Year.

I went out with a donkey and a chicken tonight at our usual mamak and I have to say that I am glad that I have friends like that. It makes life easier for me at least. A laugh or two is shared, ideas no matter how crazy or foolish, but most friends would say "an extra mile is given". A friend that goes the extra mile for you means alot to each other. So the two of you, yeah, you know who you are. Thanks so much. Today’s blog is a short one just to acknowledge my friends out there not only the donkey and the chicken but everyone else too. Each of you makes my life richer and I’ve always would try to be there for you. For those who knows me, if I can do it for you and it is within my reach, I’ll reach out and help you out. Living in a world that sux, friends are hard to find and should be cherished. Here’s to you all and my thanks.

Sick. I’m sick. Okay. Not that bad but nevertheless I’m not feeling well. Better to remind myself to sleep earlier next time. After a few days of sleeping a few hours each night, it really kills your immune system. Not to mention the "healthy" mamak food that I gorge down my throat in the morning for breakfast and lunch. Kinda reminds me of the "supersize me" documentary. You haven’t heard of it? You poor thing. Try googling it and see if you get a better picture. Hmmm… I used the word googling. Is that such a word in the first place? It’s like saying, "Oh dear, you split some milk, you need kleenex". The product/brand name has become the verb or an adjective or anything in English. Sad isn’t it? Just the other day I met this lady and she told me that she’s on her way to photostat something. I looked at her and I nearly asked, "photostat"? How old are you guys anyway? The last time I’ve seen a photostating machine was when I was a kid, playing marbles. The machines today (developed my Xerox if I’m not mistaken) is called a photocopying machine. Photostating machine is long gone. That’s not all of the words being butched, for instance, Maggie mee has become THE word for instant noodle. I know, I know… as long as someone understands it then it’s okay. Yes, that is true but still sucks. It tells me that, one, you haven’t done your homework or two, you are too lazy to find out (doesn’t that seem odd for someone to say ‘hey buddy, could you pass that Nescafe?’ when you know that the word is instant coffee and the coffee its labeled as Cafe 21?) or three, you vocabulary is just plain limited. I’ll take the third possible reason for 1000 please. Funny isn’t it? Most people I know are graduates but still have limited vocab. Sigh. Irony of life. Anyway, I’d better hit the sack early tonight but first…CSI.

Okay. Okay. Time for me to publicly admit something. Hmmm….

1. Starting this year (which is not very long ago), I’ve realized just how old I am. Sigh. I’m getting old. Yeah, I can’t run or I can’t do my normal physical stuff as I could before and I notice that whenever I got a bruise now, it takes longer to heal. Sigh. I still remember that I use to punish my body pretty regularly by not sleeping as much to try to enjoy life as much as I could (remembering those nights when I spent playing computer games) but now I can’t. It’s not that I don’t want to but just signs of old age. I use to be more outspoken, take the bull by the horns and meet life head on. Another sigh. I’ve avoided all those now…trying to conserve energy most of the time now.

2. I have to admit that I’m not fat but I ain’t that slim either. Fighting to get my waist from 33 inches to 32 inches is like trying to maintain economic crisis of this country. Yeah, yeah, I know William. You can stop laughing now. That goes for you too Joel. I’ve notice that my belly seems to be growing half and inch and later receded half and inch too. I wonder if my purging of my bowels has got to do with it too….hmmmm.  Anyway, for this battle, I just have to find another form of activity. I use to play badminton but now… sigh. I can play badminton, I ain’t that good but I can send the shuttle to my intended direction.

3. I have to admit that I still miss my Honda. *Sniff*. Even though it has been like…what… four years ago since I last sold it. This one…what can I say. I still enjoy my current car, hardly any problems for a 13 year old car to boot. But I miss the power that my old honda can give. Oh well. I still got a car to drive ya?

Time is now 3:30…need to get my beauty sleep….whatever dude.

Some people I know asked me to have my very own blog since I grumble some of the times (okay, I lied, most of the time) and so I’ve decided to humour these group of people (yeah you know who you are). Okay, so I ask to myself, now I’ve gotten a blog of my own. Where do I go from here? The thing about blog is that it stands for a variety of meanings to certain people/bloggers.

1. Blog which means (weB LOG). This is the original meaning and where the word Blog derived from  and that’s why you get people that write and show their private and personal stuff…..publicly. Hmmmm. Oxymoron? LIfe is filled with those itty-bitty oxymoronic stuff. Deafening silence is heard too.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

2. Blog could also mean (B!tchig Log). This is what blog is known for too. Most of the time blogs are seemed to be therapeutic in nature. Some poor soul (wonder if there is such thing as rich soul or not) would need some vent to release their pent up stresses in his/her life and could only do so in words then B!tching Log would be the place to go. After all, where else could you go and blame everyone else and for the whole world to see about how your poor dog, I mean boss, that gave you a measly 400 buck increment while you want 800 bucks at least so that you could then afford a new beamer?

3. By-the-way Log could also be seen in many blogs out there too. These are just ramblings and mumblings that their friends carefully avoid without hurting too much of the blog owner’s feelings and so the blog owner would find someway to ramble about something that feels important to them but not necessarily to friends IRL. I happen to fall into this category. (a distant "aaaawwww" is heard)

4. Business Log is popping up lately. Yes sireee. These group of people wanted to have a website to host their business stuff (ah….thinking back on the old dot com days) but don’t want to pay for the website and so they create a blog (free mah) and use it as a launch pad for their business products/services/what-nots to the web.

5. Boastful log. Pretty much like point number 3 (aka by-the-way log) but more towards showing off where IRL no one gives a hoot about their new 300 bucks watch-strap.

6. Bandwagon Log. Since everyone else has a Blog then might as well join and hop into the same bandwagon though you may not know where you’ll be heading with the Blog that you just created and may just do nothing and leave it there but to occupy the harddisk space of the poor host (which they normally give you freely by the way!) I know alot of these people too.

7. Blah-blah-blah log. Since there could be so many other reasons, well, safe to mention this group of bloggers, which their nature of fun is blogging, for whatever reason is categorised in this category. This also means that I’m running out of ideas of "what is Blog" stands for anyway. After all it is, let me check…., 4:16 am in the morning right now.

I know that I could write more and expand each point but I’m tired and I need to get up early (beating the jam is a good thing in the morning). Anyway, till next time (whenever that is, I may even move from one category to the next like from "by-the-way" to "bandwagon" category too), I’ll say goodbye for now and goodnight.